


Luffy x Suicidal!Reader

by Bamse



Series: One Piece x Reader Oneshots [4]
Category: One Piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 16:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17186420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bamse/pseuds/Bamse





	Luffy x Suicidal!Reader

Slight TW: Self harm and thoughts of suicide

You were a new member of the Strawhat crew, and you got along with everyone pretty well. Mostly. You weren't necessarily fond of yourself- unlike the rest of the crew, you were rather weak. On multiple occasions, you had to be saved and said savior ended up getting hurt because of it.

Not to mention you didn't seem to have as much beauty as Nami and Robin, or as much optimism as Luffy. You didn't have as much character as Usopp or Brook, or special skills like Zoro, Sanji, or Franky.

But you liked to pretend sometimes, and you kept smiling. As much as you wouldn't like to admit it, Sanji's constant flirting helped a little, and the crew's spirit also helped a bit. Luffy helped a whole lot. But not enough.

Despite your depressed state, you were too frightened to harm yourself, let alone take your own life- besides, you didn't want the crew to lose anyone else, even if it was just you.

Especially Luffy. You loved him. Why, though? He was like a four year old at times- scratch that, most of the time. But sometimes, he wasn't- he was his own age. But he was so happy, and always persevered. He was courageous and optimistic, and he saved you.

Today, you're feeling much worse. Not quite sure why- well, you didn't know why you kept feeling worse about yourself ever.

Right now, everyone was out in the new island, stocking up. Aside from you and Zoro, but the green haired man was sleeping. Taking a deep breath, you step into the kitchen and grab a knife, then swiftly retreat to your room.

You sit on your bed, twirling the knife around a little. A sigh escapes your frowning lips, and you set it in the bare drawer of the desk that resides parallel to your bed.

No- not ever. Not this as long as I'm apart of the Strawhat crew. Not this year.. This month.. This week. Not today. Not right now. Not right now.

Shaking, you exit your space. Your heart aches- a pounding that causes your whole body to tremble.

Outside, the air is so much fresher compared to the stiff atmosphere in the previous room. The calming sound of rhythmic waves is heard in the background of your light footsteps.

You slump down beside Zoro's sleeping figure, making sure not to awaken the swordsman. Even if he wasn't awake, right now, someone else's presence would satisfy you.

The sun begins to set, the sky emitting beautiful mixtures of pinks, purples, oranges, and reds. Above, the sight of hundreds of twinkling lights begin to be visible.

Nami, Robin, and Sanji are the first to arrive back to the ship, the blonde carrying dozens of different sized and coloured shopping bags. The chef greets you as he typically does- which is rather obnoxious, but full of compliments.

Luffy, Chopper, and Brook are next to arrive, shortly after the previous trio. You smile at their entrance, seeing as they were, much to Chopper and Brook's dismay, launched from around a kilometer away.

Finally, Franky and Usopp return, bearing many trinkets and tools for new inventions. At this point, dinner is finished and, as everything this crew seems to do, eating is rowdy, exciting, and fast paced.

You don't eat much, though compared to a certain glutton anyone looks like they didn't eat much. Although it wasn't much, the thought that you were going to harm you makes you feel sick.

But, you want to.

The feeling of the blade would fulfil your needs. Take your mind off the constant internal aching.

After a loud dinner, you head to bed early, mind exhausted. You change, and go to lay in bed. A minute passes. 2 minutes. 3 minutes. You sit up and plant your feet on the ground. Subconsciously you open your desk drawer. You empty it.

Returning to your bed, sitting on the edge, you tease your skin with light tickles from the blade. Enough of this, you think.

Pressure is applied, and a thick red substance leaks out slowly, squeezing out of the cut.

Someone knocks on your door.

Entranced in your work upon your wrist, the sound goes ignored.

More knocks.

This time you hear it. Startled, you let out a gasp, "huh?" The squeak barely escapes your mouth.

The stranger takes it as an invitation to enter. The door squeals on it's hinges.

The door a quarter open, your brain registers what's happening. "No- don't come in!" Alarm is sent through your body, freezing it in place.

"Hey, what's up? You alright?" The switch is flipped and light shines in your room.

Sanji. "(Y/N)!" He rushes to your side, snatching the knife from your grasp. He clicks his tongue. "Are you alright? What's going on?"

"I-I don't know, I-" you can't finish. You look at your wrist, and tears come flooding. "What did I do? Why did you come in here?" You feel horrified at what you've done, but almost angry at Sanji for interrupting, yet so glad he did.

"I came because I noticed one of my knives went missing today, I came to see if you knew anything about it- moss head was sleeping the whole time so- that's beside the point. (Y/N)..."

"I'm sorry," you sputter. "I don't know what came over, I just..."

"(Y/N).. I'm going to tell Luffy about this, he's our captain, but no one else, if you don't wish. Okay?"

You nod briskly.

"I'm going to bandage you first, though."

He leaves with the knife, and returns and wraps your wrist after disinfecting it.

"Has something been going on?"

"Sanji, I.." More tears. "I feel so useless, I'm so weak, and I'm not talented at anything, and I'm not as pretty as Robin or Nami. I always have to be saved, and someone ends up getting hurt because of me." The words barely escape your lips.

"Hold on."

He returns with your captain, and leaves.

"Luffy... I'm sorry for causing such trouble, I-"

The ravenette cuts you off with a hug. "You don't have to apologize for anything. I'm sorry for not seeing it earlier." He takes your wrist, and rubs over the inside part with his thumb, then kissing it.

"It's my fault, if I wasn't so useless to the crew," you can't find the right words to finish the sentence. You try again. "You and everyone else are so strong and admirable and lovable but I'm just... me."

Luffy furrows his eyebrows. "Not at all. If I'm so lovable, then since I love you, you should love you, too!"

Your eyes widen, then you shut them tight and open them slowly. "Luffy, I don't think you understand what that means."

"I do." Firmness and confidence in his voice confirm sincerity and sureness.

A tear slips from your (E/C) orbs, trickling down your cheek. You wrap your arms around his neck and he hugs you back around the waist.

"I love you too," you reply, voice hoarse.

"Don't hurt yourself anymore, (Y/N). I'll save you from any enemy, forever, I can swear that. But I can't make that promise if you won't let me. If you continue to be your own enemy and won't let me protect you, I can't save you. So don't hurt yourself, you're perfect."

"I promise, I won't."

"Then I promise I'll always be there for you."

At his statement, you smile. Your heart squeezes with delight, tightening at the conversation.

Weary from sleep, your eyelids begin to flutter shut. Luffy, feeling your breathing slow down and grow even, he lays you down under the covers.

A yawn escaping his own lips, he tucks himself in with you and allows himself to drift into sleep, cradling you in his arms. Unconsciously, you snuggle back into his chest, as if this was a nightly occurrence. For the first time in a while, you feel safe and happy, and sleep soundly. You feel worthwhile.

The wafting smell of breakfast finds its way into your room, waking Luffy, and in turn you, up. 

"Mmf, morning," you mumble.

"G'morning," he responds, tightening his grip on you.

"Don't you want breakfast?" you inquire sleepily.

He smiles. "Breakfast can wait, my (Y/N) comes first," your lover kisses your forehead and returns to snuggling you. 

A/N: I wrote this in one sitting, and checked it twice in the same sitting as I wrote it in so it's probably not the best .-. I'm going to try to post a lot more, just so I can write more and hopefully improve over time. That's all, good day to you, lovely person!


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